


No Force

by eclipsejuno



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Because I'm a weeny despite writing a zombie au fic, Blood, Comfort Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Like... very mild gore, Mild Gore, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Public Sex, Shower Sex, The implied/referenced suicide is a very minor OC so like no worries there for our faves, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:24:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7879963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipsejuno/pseuds/eclipsejuno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The First Order pays a visit to a planet they think is under their control after losing communications with everyone on the planet, and Kylo Ren senses a serious disturbance in the Force upon their landing; unbeknownst to them, it's because the dead outnumber the living, and the dead are walking. The First Order triumvirate has no hope for answers until they find you running through the woods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Hundred and Fifty

Kylo Ren was the first to hear the low snarls. He turned his head, alarmed by the soft noise; the Force seemed dead on this planet, which put him on high alert when he heard the sound. Among the vast, overgrown thicket of green jungle and dark dirt, there was a stillness besides the snarling noises. He couldn't tell if the sudden suffocating feeling was from the intense humidity or an overwhelming sense of something horribly wrong on this planet. To say there was a disturbance in the Force was an understatement - there was almost a lack of it entirely.

"We need to find them," Ren said; normally, Hux would bark at him about being so obvious, but the others could tell that Kylo meant something more. "Immediately."

"Do you hear that?" Phasma asked. Hux nodded. Kylo turned at the sound of more low growls; the noises were coming from both the east and west now. Their heads turned sharply, however, at sudden loud beeps flying off into the distance. Moments later they heard light footsteps: someone was running through the dense woods at the opposite direction of the beeping.

"There's a horde of about a hundred and fifty heading north now," a voice said. Kylo, Hux and Phasma walked through the woods, staying slow and quiet at the sign of civilization. Kylo could feel the anxiety, the pounding heart, and the urgency; it was the first sense of the Force and organic life on this planet that he picked up on since their landing.

As you pushed through the thick bushes, you paused at the sight before you: a man in a First Order uniform with red hair, a storm trooper with chrome armor, and a man wearing all black with a helmet concealing his face.

"Who are you?" You asked. "Have you been bitten?"

"Bitten?" Phasma asked. Hux rolled his eyes, but Kylo paid attention. Something was not right, that much was evident, and he wanted to find out what: you might have answers to his questions.

"Answer the damn question!" You nearly snapped but you tried to keep calm. "Have you been bitten?"

"No," Kylo said. "We just arrived."

"Well don't just stand there! Come on, you've gotta run!" You said. You began to take off again, not waiting around for them; that was something you learned not to bother doing a long time ago.

Hux snarled. "Don't presume to tell me what to do—"

"Listen, Red, if you and your friends want to be walker food that's fine by me, but don't say I didn't warn you," you called back. You heard heavy footsteps behind you and soon, the man in all black with the helmet was matching your pace - easy for him to do considering how tall he was. It wasn't long before you heard the other two follow him.

"What's your name?" The man in the helmet asked; his voice was distorted from what must have been a vocoder inside.

"Name's (YN)," you said. "Who are you lot?"

"Kylo Ren," he answered; you knew that name. "I'm joined by General Armitage Hux and Captain Phasma of The First Order. This planet is under our control."

"Under your control?" You asked with a laugh. "Does anything look like it's under anyone's control? Fuck The First Order, and the Resistance, and fuck the Republic. Some good you all did us. For months we've been trying to reach out to you but I'm sure our cries for help got buried in a stack of other holo messages that you deemed more important."

Normally, such a brash attitude would have Kylo furious, but given the strange circumstances of this planet he decided to let it slide.

"We never received those messages," Hux spoke up from behind; he was catching up now. The one in chrome seemed to be intentionally behind him, as if to have his back. "Otherwise we would have arrived sooner. That's why we're here; we lost all communication with this planet and wanted to check on you. What's happening?"

"I don't know how or why," you began, "but--"

"(YN)? (YN)? Are you there?" The voice was coming from your headset and caught the attention of the First Order triumvirate. "Come in! Come in, please!"

"Pekka? What's going on?" You replied. "I'm here, can you hear me?"

"I think your hoard moving north made a turn - they're heading this way. Looks like the same number you spotted. Do not come to the camp! I repeat: do not head to the camp! There's too many of them, we're going to try as best as we can to reach the warehouse we saw on the way east but they're coming fast and I don't know if we're gonna make it!"

You slowed to a stop as you heard static begin to crackle on the headset. Kylo, Hux and Phasma also stopped.

"Pekka? Pekka, do you copy?" You asked. "Pekka!"

"Run to the warehouse and don't..." Static interrupted her briefly. "...about heading to camp! Just..." More static. Your hand covered your mouth as you heard a scream that was cut off by the sound of groans and then more static.

"Shit, grab Pekka's headset!" A man's voice - it sounded like Jarke but you couldn't tell with the static - said. The static began to break up. "Hey, who's there?"

"Jarke, is that you?" You asked. "It's (YN)."

"Yeah. We're totally fucked, (YN), you'd be crazy to head this way. Go to our rendezvous point and I'll meet you there!"

"Right," you said. "On my way." You turned your headset off and turned to your three new travel companions.

"Are you alright?" Phasma asked.

"I'll grieve later," you said. "Follow me. I think we can walk for now if the walkers were at the camp already, and any leftovers are gonna follow those noisemakers I left behind. Pekka's gotta be right, they had to have taken a turn if they beat me there." You sighed. "Shit."

"Walkers?" Hux asked.

"They're not... They're not totally alive," you explained as you began your hike. "Like I said, I don't know how or why this happened, but..." You frowned as you took out your blaster. "See for yourself."

Hux, Kylo, and Phasma paused at the sight of the walker before you. It was stuck in a tree branch, its shoulder having pierced through it, but it was still shuffling its legs in an attempt to move. Its skin was translucent and pale. Half of its scalp was missing and most of the flesh had rotted and peeled.

"The dead are rising," Kylo said. "They're attacking the living?"

"Yeah," you said as you aimed your blaster for right between the walker's eyes. You took the shot and the walker stilled in the tree at that, still stuck with the pierced shoulder but more slumped now. "Basically."

"So now where? The warehouse?" Phasma asked.

"Yes and no," you said. "We're meeting Jarke first. Then we'll go to the warehouse."

"Who is Jarke?" Hux asked. "Can we trust him?"

"He's my step-brother," you said. "Our group... They're good people but not always the smartest, so Jarke and I like to meet up to catch up every now and then if we can. This world isn't very forgiving. Unless, of course, you'd like to take all of us away in whatever ship you flew here on," you asked.

"Take us to your group first," Kylo said. "Then we'll lead you to our ship. We need to regain control before we leave."

You sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"


	2. Long Distance Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make your way to the warehouse with Kylo, Hux, and Phasma. Kylo attempts to comfort you. NSFW.

“It’s just ahead,” you said as you pointed towards a lamp post. Kylo, Hux, and Phasma stood behind you as you reached the lamp post and kneeled down to pick up a torn piece of fabric. In the grass next to the fabric was a long trail of blood that lead into the thick of the woods nearby. The blood was fresh, still shining in the sunlight coming down from overhead, and you knew that soon, the woods would likely start to smell.

“(YN)?” Phasma asked; her hesitance was evident in her tone. “What’s that?”

“Is he coming or not?” Hux asked sharply, not understanding what was unfolding in front of them.

You released a single, deep sob, but held the rest back as you held the torn piece of fabric close to your chest. The sob was loud, and you knew that a few walkers were likely to be on their way.

“What’s wrong?” Phasma asked.

“He’s dead,” you replied, wiping your eyes before tears could fall. “Jarke’s dead. We should get moving before zombies head this way, they probably heard me just now.”

After a few minutes of moving along, you were proven right. It was not long before you heard the low snarls and moans as the zombies shuffled in your direction. It was a small horde, only about fifteen strong, and you weren’t overtly worried.

Hux felt fairly useless in the fight. He managed to find a few large rocks that he could hurdle at the zombies, which either effectively hit their skulls or would strike them in a nearby body part for them to falter enough to give you or Phasma a clear shot. Kylo stuck with his lightsaber, the heads of zombies falling to the ground with a thud.

You frowned when your blaster died, but looked up to see a final walker stumbling out from behind the rest of the group and making its way straight toward Kylo. “Move!” You ordered as you pushed Kylo aside and used the butt of your blaster to bash the skull in of the walker who had approached him. In the same swift motion, you blaster-whipped one to the side of you, and to your peripheral vision you saw the red glow of Kylo’s lightsaber as he buried it in the head of another stray zombie.

You and Kylo turned to look at each other as the last zombie hit the dirt. Kylo took a moment to take your physical form in. The repeated rise and fall of your chest was noticeable as your heavy breathing began to return to its normal rhythm. You were covered in a fresh layer of thin sweat, which would soon dry to add to the grime on your skin. Dirt speckled across your collarbone and the neck of your shirt and there was some just by your nose. Your eyes held a fury, wide and undying, but a deeper sadness that he knew far too well. Your lips were chapped with a small split that was beginning to bleed from being so dry.

“Come on,” you said to break the silence. “We should keep moving.”

The warehouse was only another mile away, clear of any walkers but the flora around it looked completely dead, everything beginning to wither away and dry up. Upon entering, you saw that it was completely empty; there were no signs of any organic lifeforms living here.

“I’m sorry,” Hux said. “It appears as if your friends…”

“Are all dead,” you finished for him. “Thanks, Hux.” You swallowed, knowing everyone needed to stop. “It’ll be getting dark soon and that’s when the walkers are the most active. We should spend the night here, see if anyone shows up that I know, and then head back. We’ll stay close, but not too close,” you said. “That way, we’ll be prepared if anything happens. If we go upstairs, we maximize our chance of staying safe in case anything happens.”

You each set up on different sides of the top floor of the warehouse; Hux and Phasma were close to the stairs, sleeping on either side of it, whereas you and Kylo were tucked away in the back corners. When you finally felt somewhat settled, you faced the corner of the walls and let your emotions take over, the hurt and the pain settling in, and you did nothing except for your best to keep the tears silent.

Not unusually, Kylo couldn't sleep, but besides his normal reasons for not getting much rest he felt distracted by the light sounds of your near silent crying. It was soft enough for Phasma and Hux on the other ends of the warehouse to not hear, but Kylo could pick up on it as well as the feelings of deep emotional pain running through you.

Kylo could feel it running through you; you never had time to properly grieve until right now, nor did you ever have a moment to rest your head. Kylo thought it was a shame you were spending that moment crying instead of actually letting your body rest and replenish your energy, and he also couldn't stand to hear your light sobs any longer, which he attributed to a feeling of obligation after you saved him. Kylo wasn't sure if what he was going to try to do would work, but it was worth a shot.

You stiffened for a moment at the feeling of a hand on your back, moving slowly up and down your spine. You turned only to see no one there. The phantom feeling of a hand didn’t stop, but it was relatively soothing as it began to feel more comfortably rubbing your back. When you saw that Kylo was still awake and with his gaze set on you, your suspicions heightened.

Kylo stopped doing this when he saw you stand and approach him, though he did not move. He wasn’t sure if you would be angry or not that he reached out to you. He could tell by your face - your eyes were heavy and solemn, and your lips seemingly incapable of smiling - that you weren’t upset, by in need of more than just long distance comfort.

“Was that you just now?” You asked in a whisper.

Kylo shifted and gestured for you to lay beside him. You joined him, the two of you flat on your backs and shoulders touching. The floor of the warehouse was hard and cold, but it felt surprisingly good on your aching spine.

“Was I that obvious?”

You chuckled at Kylo’s question. “You’re the only Force user here. Possibly on the whole planet,” you said. “Yeah, that obvious.”

“I did not want to push your boundaries,” Kylo said, “though I’m admittedly not the most empathetic. I wasn’t sure what else to do.”

You offered him a sad smile. “Thank you for reaching out.”

“You stopped that walker from getting to me when I could not. It’s the least I could do,” Kylo replied.

“What with the undead being… well, not dead, is it disrupting your flow or whatever?” You asked. “What with the Force?”

“It’s extremely disrupting, yes,” Kylo said. “But not entirely.” There was a silence. “You should rest.”

“I never rest,” you said with a sad laugh. “Somehow, sleeping is worse than being awake.”

“What do you mean?” Kylo asked.

“Nightmares. Paranoia. A little bit of both at once, sometimes. You know,” you said. “I’m sure you get them too.”

Kylo furrowed his brows. “How can you tell?”

“I can see it in your eyes now that you’ve got that stupid helmet off of your head,” you told him. “It made you look like a duck.”

“Most people find it rather intimidating,” Kylo retorted.

“Not much is intimidating out here anymore,” you reminded him. “It looks like a duck.”

Normally, Kylo would have been enraged, but this was not a normal situation. This was not a normal planet, and this was not a normal girl. Kylo decided he wanted to change the subject.

“What are your nightmares about?” Kylo asked.

You snorted. “Rumor has it you can read minds. Can’t you figure that out without asking me? The big, bad Kylo Ren?”

You were mocking him, and he knew it. When he glanced to you, he could see the playful smile on your face, and he knew you weren’t intending to hurt him, but had simply grown hard with your new reality.

“I could,” Kylo said, “but you’re in enough pain as is, and it’s not the most pleasant process.”

Your smile faded. “I’m sorry,” you said. “That was rude. My nightmares are about exactly what just happened,” you admitted. “Not me dying. Everyone I know and love dying. And the last of them… they’re gone, now.” You bit back the tears that threatened to return. “They’re gone.”

“Not truly gone,” Kylo said. “They’re one with the Force now.”

“How does that work if there isn’t any Force on this planet?” You asked. Kylo realized his attempt at offering consolation failed. “They’re just bound to become walkers. I don’t even know how it happens, it just does.”

“Has any research been done?” Kylo asked. “Anything that you’re aware of?”

“I heard that a few doctors tried doing tests but they said it was beyond their comprehension. They couldn’t figure it out, and then the hospital got overrun before anything else could happen. That’s when it got out of control and started to really spread.”

“We should go to the hospital before we leave and take any files they may have on their research. Perhaps it can help us end this problem before it gets any worse. We can review them on the Finalizer.”

You nodded. “Alright.”

“I want to help you,” Kylo said, “but I don’t know how.”

“Hold me,” you answered. “Please.”

Kylo pulled you into his torso, resting your head near the crook of his neck. His arms felt stiff around you - it was very clear that this was unusual for him, something he normally would not do - but regardless, you felt safe for the first time in months.

“You feel safe?” Kylo asked, picking up on your mood. “Are you aware of who I am?”

“The ability to thoughtlessly kill people regardless of innocence is a desirable trait here,” you said. “Yeah, I’m aware of who you are and the shit you’ve done. That’s why I feel safe right now.”

Kylo could not describe how he was feeling upon hearing those words. All he knew was that this was not how he was supposed to feel, not as a Knight of Ren or as Snoke’s apprentice. Kylo felt inwardly warm, and he did not think that to be possible, yet his gaze softened when you rested your chin on his chest and looked at him, studying his expression in the sudden silence.

“You look confused,” you said.

“That’s because I am,” Kylo replied.

Knowing you were likely crossing a boundary now but feeling in this moment that it was right, you leaned up and pressed your lips to Kylo’s. To your surprise, Kylo pulled you closer, suddenly clutching onto you. Both of you were comforted by the touch and the kiss, by the way your lips felt on each others as the embrace tightened.

You could feel your heart pounding against your chest and your blood flowing through your veins as Kylo’s massive hands slipped up beneath your shirt, and you felt truly alive like a survivor should.

Kylo hesitated when his hands reached the fabric of your sports bra. He broke from the kiss, unsure if he should continue.

“Are you..?”

“Yes,” you said. You could die tomorrow, after all; you could have died today. “Are you?”

Kylo nodded and brought his lips back to yours: they were thick and chapped but they felt so real that it didn’t even bother you. Kylo’s hands moved up to your ribs, slipped beneath your sports bra, and cupped your breasts with a gentleness you did not know Kylo Ren was capable of. Kylo’s thumbs hovered over your nipples, making small circular motions, and he enjoyed the way they hardened beneath his touch. Kylo was nervous when you pulled your lips away from his but was instantly relieved to see you strip off your shirt and bra, making it easier for him to fondle you.

As you resumed, you could feel Kylo’s cock stiffening through the fabric of his pants, and when you bucked your hips a bit, Kylo gripped at your breasts and applied pressure on your nipples, making you moan into his mouth. Kylo moved his hips to feel that friction again, and you couldn’t help but move your hand down to feel his cock; it was as long as it felt even through the fabric, and was rather thick as well. Kylo shivered as your hand wrapped around and your fingertips caressed the tip before moving down his shaft. When your hand began to move faster and you felt yourself growing more and more wet, Kylo moved his lips away again.

“No,” he said. “I don’t want to just cum in your hand. I want to cum in your cunt.”

Kylo moved a hand to lower your pants and you shifted so he could do so, freeing his own cock in the process, and Kylo was quick to pull you back onto his lap. You whined as his cock began to fill you, not having been with anyone in so long and Kylo was so large, and it was nearly overwhelming in the best way to let his body consume yours like this.

“You feel so good,” Kylo whispered in your ear.

“You do too. It’s been so long,” you said between kisses.

“It has been for me, too, and never like this,” he admitted. He easily could have mocked you, but instead was sharing equal vulnerability with you; Kylo felt inexplicably drawn to you, but he knew you somehow understood despite only knowing him for a few hours. Kylo grunted into your neck as he thrust deeper, noting how warm you felt around him. All Kylo could feel with you was warm. His hands couldn’t stop roaming your body as you both thrust in tandem, desperate to make up for seemingly lost time.

You buried your face into Kylo’s neck and whined again into his skin as you felt him fill you completely, stretching you in a way you haven’t been stretched by anyone in a long time, never mind by someone as commanding and as massive as he was. You were surprised at the tenderness in the way Kylo fucked you, holding meaning with each thrust and feeling a deeper connection despite how little you’d known each other for. Perhaps, you thought, he was feeling alive for the first time in a while, too.

You mewled when you came, desperately trying not to scream - not only out of consideration for Hux and Phasma, but out of fear of attraction zombies - as your orgasm made it difficult for Kylo to move in you due to his size and your pussy tightening. Kylo kissed you again as he came, his cock pulsing as your cunt clenched, and his hands held you in the kiss. Kylo pulled away from the kiss before he withdrew his cock, even once your orgasms had ended, and he rested your forehead against his own.

“Rest,” Kylo urged you. “You deserve to.”

“So do you,” you said.

You lazily put your clothes back on and as Kylo cradled you close, for the first time in months, you actually slept. 


	3. Beating Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Kylo search for the files from the hospital, where zombies have overrun the first floor and the outside of the building. NSFW.

You frowned when you reached the old hospital. Not only was the once beautiful white building now dirty, run down, and broken, but it was completely overcome with walkers behind the gates. 

“How are we gonna get in there without dying?” Hux asked.

“This is a suicide mission,” you added. “Are you sure you guys can’t figure any of this out without the research that may or may not be inside?”

“No,” Hux said.

Suddenly, Captain Phasma spoke. “There’s a speeder just ahead.”

You followed Phasma to the speeder. It looked like it hadn’t been used in years and could only really fit two people in it. Parts of the speeder looked like they had been scavenged or broken.

“Can any of you fix it?” You asked; repairs were never your specialty.

“It looks beyond fixing,” Phasma said.

“Beyond repair, but we can still use it to our advantage,” Kylo said. “Get in.”

“What?” You asked. “How?”

“Get in,” Kylo said. “Phasma and Hux will stay here. We’ll go in. I may be able to make it fly anyways.”

“The Force,” you realized. “Right. Do you think the Force is what’s causing all this?”

“There’s a lack of it, but it’s still there,” Kylo said. “Never truly gone. Now get in.”

Your eyes widened once you got in the speeder with Kylo as he pressed a few of the controls and had it functional. “I’m not even going to ask how this all works.”

Kylo chuckled. “The explanation would be complicated anyway. Not to say you wouldn’t understand it. Just…” He paused as he searched for the right words as you sped towards the hospital. “For another time. Another planet.”

“Right,” you said. You stared ahead at the mass of walkers you were flying towards at the hospital. You swallowed the thick lump in your throat as your heart rate increased. You tried to force yourself to stay calm. There was no sense in panicking. It would only attract them. 

“Forgive me, but your thoughts are so loud,” Kylo suddenly said. “You’re worried.”

“I need you to promise me something,” you said. Kylo glanced to you when you said this, anticipating what you’d say next. “If one of them gets me, if one of them bites me or anything… promise me you’ll take that lightsaber of yours and jam it right through my skull.”

Kylo was surprised and said nothing. He looked to you, eyes wide beneath his helmet, in shock.

“(YN)--”

“Please, Kylo, I’m begging you,” you insisted. “I don’t want to… I don’t even want to be one of those things. Take me out before I can be if it comes to that.” 

“It won’t,” Kylo said. “I assure you.”

You took a deep, shaky breath. “Alright. How are we taking this thing in, anyways?”

“Through the roof. There’s a way inside once you’re up there.” You noticed that you had slightly inclined, and Kylo was now beginning to fly around the building.

“You’re a good pilot,” you complimented.

“It’s just a speeder,” Kylo said dismissively. Something must have struck a nerve, so you decided to drop it.

Kylo helped you out of the speeder when you landed on the roof and he insisted that he lead the way down the steps. You weren’t sure where to start in your hunt for the files until you stumbled across a communicator plugged into a charger on the wall in the stairwell.

“There’s a sticky note above it on the wall,” you said. “I’m sure power’s been out for a while but it’s worth checking out.”

Kylo covered your back as you picked up the communicator, reading the note above it that just read “HELP.” You realized it was written in blood. From below, you could hear the low moan of zombie growls that was only as loud as it seemed due to the mass amount of them. 

“Do you think they’re on other floors?” Kylo asked.

“I’d be surprised if they manage to make it up any stairs or figured out how to use an elevator, but it’s not impossible. We need to stay alert.”

You fiddled with the communicator until suddenly, the face of a Togruta woman in a lab coat appeared. Her name in Aurebesh was visible on her coat. She glanced behind her as she began to speak.

“We… this is all our fault. I don’t have time to explain, but everything that can is in a cabinet in the pediatric ward. If you’re watching this… we’re likely dead. I’m too scared to go downstairs, I…” The Togruta released a sob. “But I have to. I can’t… I’m in charge of this. I have to be with my colleagues on the first floor, I can’t let them die thinking I abandoned them, and they will die. They’re going to die.” She said it like she was just realizing it for the first time. “Remember: a file cabinet in the pediatric ward. It’s all on a communicator just like this one. Everything is. There’s only one… you’ll find it, if anyone is watching this. At least I hope you do.”

You frowned. “She hoped someone would come in through the roof. You had a good plan, Kylo,” you said. Maybe his being in touch with the Force was able to subconsciously sense that. “We have to find out what floor pediatrics is on. I wonder why the research is with the children’s stuff.”

“Elevator access is right this way,” Kylo said as he opened a door to the sixth floor, only a flight down from roof access. “Maybe it’ll tell us by the elevator what floor is what.”

“Good thinking,” you said as you held your blaster at the ready and moved towards the elevators, looking around now that there was more open space. You rested your back to the wall as to not leave a part of you exposed that didn’t have to be as you read the sign right outside the elevator. “Third floor. Well, at least it’s not the first,” you said with a nervous chuckle. “Does the elevator work?”

You smacked the button with your fist, and after waiting with baited breath for a few moments, nothing happened.

“Alright. Stairs it is,” you said. “Let’s hope those fuckers can’t climb.”

You and Kylo made your way slowly down the stairs, mostly lit by the red glow of his lightsaber. You imagined in any other circumstance you might find it intimidating or terrifying, but it was a comfort to you.

You crept through the door as you made your way down the third floor hallway, following the signs that said “PEDIATRICS” in big letters with arrows to lead the way to their unit. The third floor was oddly deserted - too much so make you feel like you were able to relax - and there was only the occasional splatter of blood on the walls with a spare dead body here and there, cold and pale and shot through the head before they could turn. All of their eyes had been closed; someone must have closed them. 

“That name looks familiar,” you said as you passed an office door, pointing at the nameplate of the doctor who must have worked out of here. “I think this is the one from the holo we found. We should check here first.”

Kylo stepped in the office first but stopped you before you could walk in. You tried to peer around his body and frowned at the sight you could faintly see: the doctor from the video, slumped over their desk, with a blaster on the desk. Their gunshot wound was to the head.

“I guess they never made it downstairs,” Kylo said flatly as he stepped in. “Brace yourself.”

“I’ve seen worse, I’ll be fine,” you said, showing no emotion nor really feeling any, as much as you hated that you felt nothing at the sight. 

You and Kylo both started rummaging through the cabinets in the office, searching for another holo and then you smiled when you picked up a near identical one in your hands. It had a label simply saying “THE TRUTH,” and you knew this had to be t.

“I got them!” You exclaimed. “Can you get us out of here as easily as you got us in?”

“Yes. Let’s head back to the roof. There’s a stairwell right over here,” Kylo said. You and Kylo began to head down the hallway, but once you turned the corner to reach the stairway, your eyes widened at what was on the other side of the door: more zombies.

“Since when?” You asked with a groan. “Can you get an idea for how many there are?”

“At least ten. We could kill them, but we also don’t know how many are beyond the door.”

“The elevators aren’t working,” you reminded him. “We have to go down there.”

“Stay behind me. I can get more of them with my saber at once than you can with your blaster,” Kylo said. You wondered if he had ever protected anyone in battle before, if he ever had to play defense or if he was constantly on the offensive. You wondered if Kylo Ren, as powerful as he was, would even be qualified for this.

“Okay,” you said. Regardless, he was right. “It’ll be easier for me to shoot at any that may be coming down, too.”

When Kylo opened the door, all you could hear was your beating heart. The sounds of the zombies snarling as Kylo’s saber hummed with each kill was almost entirely muted. The sound of your blaster firing at a few at the bottom of the stairwell was near silent in comparison to your heartbeat. It was hard to focus when you weren’t sure if you’d run into more from any direction, wondering if any had been lingering in the other halls upstairs waiting to make their way down the steps. You were glad you had Kylo with you to keep his eyes where yours couldn’t be. You carefully stepped around the bodies of them on their stairs, their brains exposed from his saber slashing through their skulls with a clean sweep, so you tried not to look down except for when you had to. 

You weren’t even sure when you reached the roof, but the fresh air seemed to reactive your senses that you didn’t realize had dulled with your anxiety. You looked down to see that you were covered in blood, grime, and other unidentifiable fluids. Kylo paused as you ran to the edge of the roof to heave, and he didn’t approach until you had finished puking and were standing there with your hands on your knees as you collected your breath.

“Let’s go,” Kylo said. “We probably don’t have much time.”

Hux and Phasma seemed relieved to see you when Kylo landed the rickety speeder back on the field. You were just happy to see that they hadn’t been swarmed.

“Only a few came our way but Phasma took care of them before they could even think of being a threat,” Hux said. “Let’s head back to the ship.”

You couldn’t have been happier to hear those words.

As night began to fall, you worried that zombies might take advantage of the dark - with cooler temperatures at night, that was when they were more active - so you four stopped at a small little house you found on an old compound only a few miles away from their ship, a long distance away from the hospital. After searching the place, you found it to be empty, and it had enough places for you all to sleep and take turns.

But what excited you the most was that with the backup generator running as well as a few other systems in place, it had working electricity and water. Whoever lived here must have prepared for some sort of disaster - likely not a zombie takeover, but something equally drastic - so you took advantage of running water since you hadn’t showered in what felt like ages.

You never felt excited to shave your legs until this moment, and the shampoo and conditioner made your hair feel a way that you forgot it could feel like. You laughed a bit as you felt the water running over your body and soaking your hair. You couldn't remember the last time you had this luxury. Once you washed your hair and body, you rested your back against the cold tile as you soaked in the moment, trying to memorize this feeling, and you let yourself close your eyes as you enjoyed the way the water warmed your whole body.

You only heard Kylo come in because of how heavy his boots were when they’d hit the floor, even with small steps. You opened your eyes to see Kylo disrobing, not saying a word, and his eyes met yours once he was nude. 

“I told you I wouldn’t let it come to your death,” Kylo said. He was almost smug about it, but not quite based on the weight of his words.

“Are you coming in here or are you just going to stand there?” You asked. A huff of breath that faintly resembled a laugh released from Kylo’s nose as he joined you in the shower. He looked you up and down, truly getting a good view of your body for the first time despite already having had sex, and Kylo’s hands gently ran over the spots on your body where he saw large bruises.

“This one’s from you, if it makes you feel any better,” you said with a hopeful smile as you pointed to one on your hip.

Kylo repeated that same, airy, through the nose laugh. “A little.” Kylo was being surprisingly gentle with you, yet again handling you as if you were fragile. “I feel responsible. We should have acted sooner.”

“No,” you said. “Our transmissions weren’t going through. That’s not your fault.”

Kylo rested his hands on your face as he kissed your forehead, the water on his head dripping onto yours in small, hardly noticeable drops. “We’re going to fix this. Now that we have the files, this should never happen again. And we’re leaving the planet immediately after you get some rest. I see no reason for Hux or Phasma to object to this.”

You nodded. “Okay.” You leaned up, not sure of what was taking over you, and you pressed your lips to his gently, not sure if he’d want it despite everything the two of you had done together in such a short period of time. Kylo surprised you by applying more pressure to the kiss and bringing you closer to him as his hands ran up and down your body, pausing to slowly grope at your breasts, pinch your nipples, and squeeze your ass before his fingers made his way to your cunt, which caused you to whimper. Your cunt was already aching for him and his touch, eager to feel his fingers slip between your folds, and even without your hand now stroking him at a similar pace, Kylo’s cock was continuing to harden.

Kylo casually lifted you up so your back was against the wall and your legs wrapped around his hips, and you could feel his hard cock pressing against your clit. Kylo shifted his position a bit as to slide more easily into you, making you moan loudly against his lips as he did.

“I know why your thoughts are so loud now,” Kylo said as he moved his lips to your neck. He sucked at your neck, right by your major artery there, making you loudly moan as he did. “It’s your life-Force. It’s so isolated that it’s nearly deafening.” Kylo paused as he continued to slowly kiss your neck and move his cock in and out of you. “You’re still afraid.”

“We still have the journey back. Of course I’m afraid,” you answered. Your grip on his shoulders tightened before you moved one hand up to reach his hair, tangling at the end where it was curling from how with it was. You wanted to say something, but you weren’t sure what, so you opted for silence. Kylo seemed to understand.

“I won’t let you get hurt. Is that understood?” Kylo said. 

You mewled before you could respond, unable to help the noise that escaped your throat in pleasure. “I don’t see why I’m so worth it to you.”

“I don’t see why either, yet here we both are,” Kylo said. That made you laugh, and Kylo seemed to be pleased by your response. His nose nuzzled affectionately against your cheek and you two continued the rhythm of your hips in near silence, not speaking but just releasing soft moans and sighs. 

Unbeknownst to you, Kylo could not only sense your fear, but he could feel it. He felt it the whole day, from the hospital to even now as you tried to clear it from your head to enjoy the moment. Kylo also knew you were alone except for him, Phasma, and Hux, and he felt a strange desire to protect you. The Supreme Leader might say he was being too empathetic, but he couldn’t control it on this planet. The Force here was weak, but it was screaming out to him through you. 

You seemed to finally relax when you came, your body’s tension releasing when you came on Kylo’s cock and rested your head into his shoulder. Kylo relished in the feeling of your cunt clenching around him, tightening and begging for him to cum but he waited until you were done before he came, pulling out as he did, letting the cum drip from your cunt. When you looked up, Kylo pressed his lips to yours, engulfing you in him entirely.

For the first time that day, you stopped being afraid of dying. The only thing on your mind was how Kylo’s lips felt against yours as the water ran over the both of you like you were one.


	4. Forced Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make your way to Kylo's command shuttle, where your future is uncertain.

Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux, and Captain Phasma had flown in on Kylo Ren’s personal command shuttle - it was a slightly smaller ship in regards to it having a much smaller crew, thus perfectly efficient for this mission - and Kylo chuckled at how you stared up at it in wonder. 

“What is it?” Kylo asked.

“I’ve never seen a ship so big before,” you answered as you admired the dark durasteel and massive wings of the ship. For a ship with only a handful of passengers, it surely was elaborate, seemingly designed to make a lasting impression to instill fear or nervous anticipation were you to see it flying towards your planet.  “Not in person, anyway. Like, this close.”

Hux scoffed. “You should wait until you see the Finalizer, then. That’s where we should station you.”

“Station me?” You asked, confused by where Hux was going with this. “What do you mean?”

“Where you’ll be working from here on out,” Hux clarified. “You will work for us now that we’ve rescued you.”

“Since when was this a part of some deal that I didn’t even know about?” You asked. “We get the files, see what’s up with the others, and then head back to the ship. That was it,” you reminded Hux. “I gave you the files, my friends are all dead, and we’re back at the ship.”

“It’s the least you could do,” Hux retorted. “And besides, where else will you go? Do you even have a home anymore?”

“Enough, General,” Kylo snapped. “She’ll stay on board my command shuttle for now. We’ll see what she wants to do. She’s been through too much to deal with you ordering her around the second she’s not having her life threatened.”

Hux tensed at Kylo’s words. You got the feeling from the strange tension and the way Phasma remained silent that this was a frequent occurrence.

“Fair enough,” Hux agreed as you all boarded. Upon stepping into the command shuttle, you immediately felt the cool air of the ship inside, especially in comparison to the thick, humid forests you were just stuck roaming through, and shivered in response uncontrollably. Kylo chuckled as he noticed. 

“She's likely exhausted,” Phasma said, “even if she doesn't realize it. All the physical signs are present. For now, she should sleep.”

“I'll lead her to an empty dormitory,” Kylo said. “We lost a crewman in the Starkiller explosion. She can stay there.”

Phasma rolled her eyes but no one saw since she was wearing her helmet. “Do you think it's wise to tell her the room belonged to a dead--”

“I don't care,” you said. “Thanks for the concern, Phasma. But what you all saw was nothing compared to the last few months.”

You couldn't help but stare at the cold, dark halls of the command shuttle with their bright lights. To many others it may seem intimidating but you found a strange comfort in it, perhaps because it was a safe building that was taking you far away from zombies, certain death, and awful memories.

“This is all mine?” You asked Kylo when he opened the door to the dormitory.

Kylo tilted his head to the side in confusion. “It's not that impressive. Small, only really meant for efficiency rather than luxury…”

“It's been so long since I've had this much space to myself,” you revealed.

Kylo chuckled softly to himself, finding something oddly endearing about your fascination and wonder with the command shuttle. “Get some rest. I'll be here should you need anything, as will the rest of my crew.”

You nodded. “Thank you.”

You didn’t remember falling asleep. Sleep no longer came naturally to you, even with the knowledge of safety, but when you did finally succumb to it - Phasma had been right about your exhaustion - your night was filled with nothing but terror.

You saw everyone: Pekka, Jarke, the twins, the ones from the capital that you found lost in the farm lands, and the farmers themselves. Your heart sank at the sight of them all, especially because you only briefly saw them how you remembered them but suddenly, they began to change. Their flesh began to lose its color as the became something less than human, as the twins’ lekku began to rot, as their eyes seemed to become dull and as their lips grew pale. You tried to run but you were frozen as you were forced to watch them all transform, and then Jarke opened his mouth and nothing more than a snarl came out--

In the darkness, you could hear your own screaming, and then it all went away.

You soon found that you didn't actually scream but you could feel it building in the back of your throat. When you looked around, you were initially disoriented since you didn't recognize your surroundings right away. You initially thought you should be back at camp in the humid woods with your family and friends, each checking each other for zombie bites and scratches or bruises. The cold, gray walls felt foreign. You looked down at yourself, examining your own body, and you noticed you were trembling as you lifted your shirt up a bit. You glanced over your skin, making sure nothing had gotten to you out of habit, and you wished you didn't have to be alone since you felt so lost and vulnerable, despite being away from the danger.

You nearly leaped off the bed at the sudden sound of knocking. You looked up at the door and when it opened, Kylo was standing there. Once he stepped in through the door he stared at you for a while through his helmet. Kylo took note of your pale skin covered in a light sweat as your hair was a mess on the top of your head, which held your eyes, wild and darting around the room.

“(YN),” Kylo said. As if the vocoder reminded him that he was still wearing his helmet, he removed it and approached you slowly. “You're not well.” 

You shook your head. Kylo saw how your eyes were puffy and a bit bloodshot, and at a closer look he saw the tear stains on your cheek. You hadn't even realized you were crying.

“I can't sleep,” you said. “As I’m sure you can see.”

“You're terrified,” Kylo said. He knew the look in your eyes and the way your body trembled far too well. “And under an extreme amount of stress after experiencing trauma. It’s only natural.” He sat beside you on your bed and you - more quickly than he expected - curled up into him. Kylo wrapped a single arm around you, rubbing your shoulder with his hand as he did his best to comfort you. “I can force you to sleep if you'd like. It's more like unconsciousness, but you do need to rest.”

You looked up at him with desperation in your eyes. “Please. I… I need that.”

Kylo surprised you by leaving a soft kiss on the top of your head - you weren't sure if his behavior with you was unusual or just some hidden part of himself that he decided to keep tucked away - and then, with the wave of a hand, you were unconscious. 


	5. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader makes a decision regarding her future. Finale.

You were alone when you woke up. You weren’t sure why that surprised you - perhaps you expected Kylo to stick around for the night and into the morning, despite his position now that you were on board the command shuttle - but you tried not to feel too disappointed in the fact that you were alone.

Kylo did, however, leave behind a pile of clothes. It looked like a First Order uniform that was likely your size. It fit a little loosely - maybe when you gained back some of the weight you lost after the last few months of malnourishment, it would fit you more properly - but would work for the time being, and regardless you were just glad to have some fresh, clean clothes. You took a moment to admire how crisp they felt and the smell of the detergent, little luxuries in life that you once took for granted.

You wondered where Kylo was, and then cursed yourself for feeling emotionally attached to him after just meeting him. You trained yourself to not do that with people, yet the safety he brought you struck you in a way like you hadn’t felt in many months. You forced yourself to remember that it likely felt nothing. Kylo’s words likely meant nothing and his actions were likely more for his own convenience of not having to deal with it.

“C’mon, get yourself together,” you said to yourself as you took a deep breath for what felt like the thousandth time that morning. When you stepped out of the dormitory, you glanced around at the unfamiliar environment. It was unfamiliar for reasons beyond having never been here before last night. You weren’t used to durasteel and air conditioning and filtering. You weren’t used to fluorescent lights in your eyes.

But the moaning you just heard sounded familiar. It was a deep, low rumble, something that sounded like it came from the back of someone’s throat. You placed your back against the wall and began to reach for a blaster you didn’t have, but you soon heard a light chuckle. 

“You’re a jittery little thing, aren’t you?”

The man before you was relatively tall, but still shorter than Hux, Kylo, and Phasma. He had slicked back raven hair and a round, childish face with a dimple in the chin. 

“Yeah, I guess,” you said.

“It was just the ship. What did you think it was?” He asked.

You frowned. “Let’s just chalk it up to flashbacks,” you replied dismissively. You didn’t want to talk about it with a stranger; they’d either think you were crazy or start coddling you, and you didn’t want to be treated any differently than anyone else simply for going through the subject of nightmares.

“I’m Lieutenant Dopheld Mitaka. I’m not usually on Commander Ren’s shuttle so please do not mind my presence; it’s only temporary until all of the reassignments are completed after what happened to Starkiller Base,” he said. “Anyways, I’m here to escort you around the shuttle, get you some food, and take you to see Commander Ren.”

You furrowed your brows. “Did you send you for me?”

Mitaka nodded. “Yes, ma’am. He thought you’d like to speak with him this morning, though it’s important you eat first.” MItaka pursed his lips as he thought of how to respectfully say what was on his mid. “He told me what happened and I think proper nutrition should come first, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

You offered him a smile. Mitaka seemed to ease up at that as you said, “Thank you, Lieutenant. That sounds nice.”

The food was tasteless, but you didn’t have it in you to tell Mitaka that. He seemed to happy to see you eating a proper meal, and to be completely honest, you were just grateful for the food security.

The walk to the war room on board the command shuttle consisted of Mitaka making small talk, but you didn’t hear anything he said. You could hear him speaking but you were too preoccupied with absorbing your surroundings that everything he said just sounded like it was mostly muted and one big blur. You felt like the last few months had all just been some weird fever dream and you’d wake up back home before your parents torched it in hopes of ridding of the zombie infestation that took over and before the zombies even came.

That moment never came; instead you soon found yourself in the war room and Mitaka scurried off without so much as a word.

“You two leave. I’d like to have a word with (LN) alone.”

Kylo called you by your last name, and for some reason, it felt cold. Hux and Phasma left without a verbal response, leaving you awkwardly standing there with Kylo. He was wearing his usual black robes and helmet, but his hood was down, making him seem only a bit smaller but still very, very large. 

“Hello,” Kylo said simply. It sounded awkward coming from him and the vocoder in his mask didn’t help the situation. 

“Hi,” you said as you stepped forward. Kylo seemed to allow it. The tension in the air was thicker than you anticipated but you weren’t sure if that was one-sided. “You wanted to see me?”

“I wanted to discuss your future with the First Order,” Kylo said. “If you’re interested in having one.”

You nodded. “I’ll need some time to readjust to living a normal life, but I think having a routine and all that would help. Thank you,” you said. You glanced down at the table were a holo of blueprints was projected, but Kylo turned the holo off and cupped your chin with his hand. Kylo forced you to look at him, making eye contact despite you being unable to see his eyes.

“Something is wrong. Tell me,” Kylo said. “I don’t know how to help you, but I want to. I can’t explain it.”

“I don’t know how to help myself, either,” you said. “Though I do enjoy whatever it is we have.”

“Romantic relationships are a waste of time and emotion,” Kylo said. You could tell he didn’t mean for it to, but his words were so blunt and dry that it stung. “Though I do agree with you. You’re not afraid of me,” Kylo said. “I initially found that infuriating, and then fascinating. I’m still fascinated,” he admitted. “So I do hope you’ll stay with us.”

You nodded. “I think I would.”

Kylo released your chin. “Good. I’m glad to hear it. We had a medic on board the Finalizer who specializes in mental health and specifically trauma. Perhaps she’ll be able to help you.”

“Probably. Good to know,” you agreed.

“I hope you’re happy here rather than on that planet. We’re analyzing the data; it seems to have come from someone experimenting with viruses. We can send TIE fighters over the planet to exterminate any contagions left behind as to prevent it from spreading further,” Kylo explained. “You don’t have to worry anymore.”

And for the first time in months, you felt relief.


End file.
